manni Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Teilen Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 http://www.time.com/time....5,00.htmlTime Magazine06/17/2002The Rest-of-the-World CupIf there's a global tournament and we don't watch, does itstill make a sound?Joel SteinThere are just two things about the World Cup that preventAmericans from caring: it involves soccer and the rest ofthe world. We could get over the soccer part eventually--after all, it's kind of like the soccer we make oursuburban children play, only without the goal scoring. Butthe global part just isn't going to happen. When I hear thatTunisia is playing Belgium for the crucial Group H runner-upspot, all I want is a map. The only way Americans are goingto learn another country's name is if it attacks us.It's different for the rest of the world. Other countrieshave all kinds of disagreements and problems with oneanother. They are dealing with one another constantly,making treaties and trading currencies and whatever else itis they do. The World Cup is mildly entertaining because youget to see them sublimate their little issues by kicking aball at one another, sort of like watching your childrenbackyard-wrestle. Senegal beats France, and the Senegalesethrow a huge party venting their anger over two centuries ofFrench colonialism. Imagine how much fun it is for anyone toact superior to the French, and multiply that by Senegal.And last Friday England and Argentina got to work outwhatever their deal was with those islands. The problem forus, however, is that it's really hard to work up that muchantagonism when you're a superpower with a short history andfriendly borders. Last week we pulled off a huge victoryagainst Portugal. It didn't make us feel that great becausethere's not much Portugal is better at than us, other thanmaking sweet wine and salted cod. This is a country that hasbeen in decline since 1494, when in the saddest, mostgrandiose moment of self-delusion in history, it actuallysat down with Spain and divided up the world. Not even BradGrey and Mike Ovitz ever did that, at least not publicly.When Iran beat us four years ago, the Iranians went crazy inthe streets. How anyone could have differentiated this fromwhat Tehran normally looks like, I'm not sure, butapparently there were especially powerful American-flagflames. But I'm glad they beat us, since we wouldn't haveenjoyed it if we had won. We don't throw ticker-tape paradesfor beating Iran at stuff, because if we did, we'd be shorton ticker tape. The only thing we could possibly lose toIran at besides soccer is subjugating women. Now that Russiaisn't important, there's no one for us to get juiced about.The Taliban, unfortunately, don't even have a soccer team,which doesn't make sense since they spend all that time atcamps.We have the same problem with the Olympics. We like thosenew fake sports we force the Olympic committee to include sowe can win, like beach volleyball, snowboarding andmajor-motion-picture production. But unless the games areheld either in America or Utah, we're not going to watchpeople pole vault. Unless they get hurt doing it. Then we'llwatch it over and over again.Sure, we could watch the World Cup, get rid of our steeltariffs, sign the Kyoto treaty and build a coalition beforeinvading Iraq, but all that sounds like a lot of effort. Wehave enough trouble persuading our states to get alongwithout involving the rest of the world in our activities.When we trumpeted globalization, we were pretty clear thatwe meant other countries acting like us, not vice versa.If the world really wants us to watch their cute little no-handsy sport, they've got to make an effort. The world hasdone a poor job marketing this World Cup thing to us.There's no Burger King tie-in, no campaign with MatthewPerry going Soccer Crazy as a pre-emptive excuse for goingto rehab. Would it be too much to ask that France's ZinedineZidane develop Le People's Eyebrow? You know who's doingWorld Cup commentary on TV? Me neither, but I'm pretty sureit's not Snoop and Ozzy Osbourne. I can't understand why I'mnot in charge of everything.And just because Americans grew up playing soccer inadolescence doesn't mean we want to watch other people doit; we also grew up bowling and arguing about who shouldhang up first. The intrinsic problem with soccer is that agoal can occur at any time, including breaks for nachos,beer or the bathroom. Unlike the rest of the world, withtheir soccer and cricket and goat malleting, we haveperfected our sports so that you only have to tune into thelast two minutes to see if Shaq can hit his free throws.We're a busy people.Look, we'll watch the World Cup when we win the thing andnot a second before.Time Inc.Copyright C 2002 Link zu diesem Kommentar Auf anderen Seiten teilen Mehr Optionen zum Teilen...
manni Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Autor Teilen Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Ich frag mich nur , ob der das ernst meint oder ob das satire ist. Link zu diesem Kommentar Auf anderen Seiten teilen Mehr Optionen zum Teilen...
MadMox Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Teilen Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Lies dir mal den letzten Absatz durch, das is ne Satire! So doof sind vielleicht die meisten Amis die ich persöhnlich kenne, aber kein Time-Redakteur!!! Link zu diesem Kommentar Auf anderen Seiten teilen Mehr Optionen zum Teilen...
black-hawk-down Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Teilen Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Glaube auch eher, dass das eine Satire ist.Interessante Stilmittel. Hätte ich von denen nicht erwartet.z.B.: einige Hyberbeln....Die werdens noch sehen, wenn Deutschland sie ins Land der vereinigten Amis zurückschießt! :D Link zu diesem Kommentar Auf anderen Seiten teilen Mehr Optionen zum Teilen...
Arne Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Teilen Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 they're fucking serious, dude!-arne. Link zu diesem Kommentar Auf anderen Seiten teilen Mehr Optionen zum Teilen...
manni Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Autor Teilen Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Ok , ist Satire, dafür reichte mein Englisch nicht um die verbale Rafinessen zu erkennen. Zumindest scheint er den Durchschnittsami zu veräppeln. Link zu diesem Kommentar Auf anderen Seiten teilen Mehr Optionen zum Teilen...
gertax Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 Teilen Geschrieben 19. Juni 2002 ooh ja, der durchschnittsami wird veräppelt, aber leider bestehen die usa zu über 90% aus durchschnittsamis, und die sehen das wirklich alles so... ich bin schon froh dass ich in D lebe... Link zu diesem Kommentar Auf anderen Seiten teilen Mehr Optionen zum Teilen...
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