Arschbrand

Die erste passt doch perfekt zu meiner Tante. Dann hätten wir ein Passbild und ein Urlaubsfoto. Andererseits wäre ein Mädel aus der Truppe auch nicht schlecht. Die könnte ihm dann liebevoll mitteilen, dass Cpt. Jack ein Rangabzeichen eines Private auf der Brust trägt. Ein kleiner, hilfreicher Vertrauensbeweis....

Hier ist ein Bild von Paxi. Das stammt von irgendeiner Tusse aus diesen Kontakt Spam Mails. Nehmen wir das?

Paxi traut sich auch was... Dear Captain Jack, What do you mean by writing that i would write like my boss? Do you think it is a good idea to ask a lady for her ID at first? no, I don´t think that i will send yo my id. What i could do is sending yo a picture of me. But only if are a little bit more polite. In general I like rouge talking men, especially when they are wearing uniforms. But before I send you my picture I want to know you a little bit better. Where are you from? How old are you? What are you doing? Is this an actual picture of you? Have do you family? I find it interesting to write to strangers. There are so many things i want to know... i can´t wait to read your answer Hugs Paxi ...und weil sie ein wenig schlichter ist, hat sie auch ein paar Rechtschreibfehler gemacht. Dusselige Nuss!

So ich habe erstmal Dr. Reid verarztet. Jetzt wird sich die Glaubwürdigkeit unserer Legende zeigen. Dear Dr. Reid, I would prefer option #1. Due to the fact that I have a high workload I will send my personal assistant Mrs. Paxi Undfixi to pick up the consignment. I would suggest that you meet her on the 12th of FEB. in the early afternoon. Please be so kind and make a reservation for two overnight stays at the Novotel London Tower Bridge for the 11th of FEB for her and sent the confirmation of this reservation to her email account: [email protected] Of course she will pay the hotel charges for herself. Also I kindly ask you to arrange a meeting point in London if it is unconvinient for you to meet her at the hotel lobby. Thank you in advance for your effort. Leck mich, elender Hurensohn Dr. Arsch Brand

Ich habe mich zwischenzeitlich bei Jack gemeldet. Dear Jack, It seems that I manage to get out of here. The district attorney wanted to lodge a complaint against me for grievous bodily harm but with the help of the East German emabassy the criminal allegation against me was taken back. Now it seems that I will get my passport back and I am able to leave Adidjan soon. Meanwhile my secretary is running my business. Well I have to tell you she is not the sharpest tool in the shed and I am looking forward to take over all outstanding isssues. I am still in contact with Dr. Reid and I want to let you know that everything is developing well. I am pretty anxious to have everything finished and as he told me the consignment has already arrived in London. There are a few fees which have to be paid but I guess I will have arranged that soon. Our secret deal seems to run smooth. Leck mich, Schwuchtel Arsch

Jetzt muss unser Passfälscher ans Werk! Bestellung an Halbertrabi: 1 DDR Pass mit einem schnuckeligem Bückstück drauf.

Da ist wohl evolutionär bei Deinem Hund etwas interessantes vorgefallen. Totgesagte leben länger und es war wohl noch nicht bunt genug! Mit anderen Worten: Das Topic lebt! Dear Client, I have confirmed your data. I want to inform you that you have 2 options to collect your consignment. I.Your cargo came with a Red Cross jet and registered as a category 'B' consignment which has insurance bond policy placed on it.This means that you only have the sole right to place instruction on the box personally or with a duly registered power of attorney given to some other person to take over the delivery in your name.You must pay the handling charges of 2600pounds as handling charges to the security company that currently has the cargo because i personally made sure that the cargo is deposited with a security company since it is a category 'B' consignment with insurance bond policy.If anything happens to it while on transit it will cost me my job so i deposited it with a security company.You can come over to the United Kingdom and personally pay for this charges and then take delivery of the cargo yourself.You only pay for the 2600pounds. 2.I can personally deliver the cargo to you at your address with my diplomatic immunity.But then i must obtain a world wide diplomatic yellow tag which will cost me 100pounds plus 2600pounds,and that is a total of 2700pounds to comfortably move the cargo outside the Uk .I have to register it and pay the taxes involved,with this i can then deliver the cargo to you personally. .The bills i explained above are for the customs for the cargo that arrived from Iraq.I am ready to assist you as fast as you comply because the cargo will commence incurring charges at the security company once it stays more than 3days. I wait for your correspondence. Yours faithfully, Dr. Jerrold Reid Dr Reid war sogar in der Lage das .fdw Format zu öffnen...

Ich habe nochmal nachgelegt: Hello Dr. Reid, I have not received your answer yet. Have you already received the consignment? Is the submitted information sufficient? I hope to receive your answer soon. Leck mich Dr. Arsch Brand

Mmmmh, es meldet sich keiner mehr. Haben wir es übertrieben?

Sag Mal Paxi (Vespacruiser) hast Du schon Antwort auf Deinen Liebesbrief bekommen?

Mitleid ist doch was feines. Der Depp glaubt einfach alles. Hello Arsch, I think you better be careful, Contact your embassy or police, even let your sectary know about all this. Do not give bribe. You did not do anything wrong so why should you give bribe. Less i forget the last time i contacted you, you told me that the your embassy help you out. How can your embassy forgets you? I think something is wrong some where. Capt Jackson Mal sehen, was Dr Reid zu sagen hat

Ich habe den Text für Paxi 1:1 übernommen. Jack habe ich auch noch ein wenig die Ohren vollgejammert. Ich bin ja mal gespannt wann sie denn nun mal an meinen Zaster wollen. So richtig konkret wird das alles noch nicht. Dear Jack, I am still seized at Abidjan. I wish you would be here and bring me out of this fu****** country. It seems I have to bribe the district attorney. This is not a good option, I do not have enough money and the embassy is not alllowed to help when it comes to sweetening officials. Talking about our deal. I have seent Dr. Reid all required details so the consignment should find its way to me. I hope I can find a way out this mess soon. Leck mich, Schwuchtel Arsch

Dear Dr. Reid Thank you for your quick response. Here is your required information: 1. Jack Hänsel 2. 03.FEB / Iraq 3. Fister Allee 3 69691 Figgen, East Germany Phone: +4930222000 or +493022230212 4. CEO 5. See attachment I have attached my scanned passport in the fickdichwichser(.fdw) format. Unfortunately I am sort of stuck in Abidjan and for some reasons I do not want to explain at the moment I have no access to my passport. The .fdw format should open easily unter Windows 7. I hope you have all the data you need to finish this transaction swiftly. Finger in Po as we say in German. Dr. Arsch Brand So Paxi die kleine Schlampe macht sich jetzt an Cpt Jack ran.

Post von Dr. Reid: Dear Client, Please send the information below for clarification 1, Original name of the depositor. 2,The date that this consignment/ was deposited/sent to UK and from which country. 3.Your complete address with phone numbers. 4, Your occupation. 5. Your passport copy or passport number. Once i get these information,i will be able to check it up and then give to you a response on your request..I'm sorry this is a category B consignment so should be properly investigated so as not to pass it to a wrong person. Greetings, Dr. Jerrold .D . Reid Ich mache mich mal an die Antwort.

Ach hast Du noch nicht? Gut, dann erstelle ich mal einen passenden Email Account und schicke das ab.

Wie geil!!!

Die Idee ist geil! Wer macht´s?

Geile Lackierung! avionics (fancy navigation stuff) windows (best view in the world) wing #1 and #2 engine #1 and #2 (26 000 pounds of thrust) emergency exit = throne zone (more leg room baby!) seats (better than taxi seats) galley (cuppa anyone?) some windows = kulula fans (the coolest peeps in the world) black box (which is actually orange) landing gear (comes standard with supa-fly mags) back door (no bribery/corruption here) tail (featuring an awesome logo) loo (or mile-high club initiation chamber) rudder (the steering thingy) stabiliser (the other steering thingy) a.p.u. (extra power when you need it most) galley (food, food, food, food?) boot space ZS-ZWP (OK-PIK) = secret agent code (aka plane?s registration) overhead cabins (VIP seating for your hand luggage) fuel tanks (the go-go juice) cargo door aircon ducts (not that kulula needs it? they?re already cool) front door (our door is always open ? unless we?re at 41 000 feet) cockpit window = sun roof nose cone (radar, antenna, and a really big dish inside)

:-D

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Where are you now, Am sorry for the whole thing. Are you self? and when are you going to london. Morgen erzähle ich ihm, dass sein Geld nicht mehr brauche, weil mein Goldesel es scheißt. Das glaubt er dann auch!

Das ganze ist doch ein normaler Ablauf in der freien Marktwirtschaft. Erst wird eine marktbeherrschende Stellung angestrebt und wenn diese erreicht ist, werden den Kunden und den Lieferanten die Daumenschrauben angelegt. Du als Kunde entscheidest über den Erfolg von Ebay und seinen Machenschaften. Nicht beschweren, sondern Alternativeb nutzen.

Genau das habe ich vor!

Ich habe mich für folgendes entschieden: Dear Dr. Reid, First of all I would like to introduce me to you. My name is Dr. Arsch Brand. I am the CEO of An Al Penetr. Systems and got your contact from the Red Cross camp in Al Basrah, Iraq. I want you to pick up my consignment that came from Iraq and was registered under your care by the command of Capt. Jackson Hensel to deliver to me. Actually it was planned to meet you tommorrow but I am still stuck in Abidjan/Ivory Coast. Please advice how we proceed on this issue. Leck mich and kind regards Dr. Arsch Brand ...und das schrieb ich meinem Freund Jack: Dear Jack, finally I found some time to care about our secret business. I contacted Dr. Reid but at the moment I am seized in Abidjan. You will not believe what happened. Do you remember that you wrote me we are all one? Yesterday evening I was out together with the guys from aviation authority of the Ivory Coast. We spent a nice evening with talking, joking and so on. As I mentioned that also have friends with a jewish background things started to go horribly wrong. Those guys were shouting at me and spelling out the worst insults. They really flew off the handle. To make it even worse one of the waiters called the police. As they showed up on the scene the situation escalated and I was detained. With the help of the East German embassy i was freed after 12 hours. But to make sure that I cannot leave the country they kept my pass. It seems that I am in serious trouble. I wrote before my thoughts about these rooks. Now I have the proof that I am right. I hope that I can find a way out. Leck mich, Schwuchtel Arsch Mal sehen was nun passiert

Und dann? Ich hatte gehofft die kommen mit ner Überweisung, da hätte man noch schöne Spielchen treiben können. Ich muss meine Legende noch Mal durchgehen, ob ich wirklich noch an der Elfenbeinküste sein könnte. Die Geschichte mit den 5 Riesen gefallen mir... Andererseits könnte natürlich auch mein Flug aufgrund der Wettersitation ausfallen. Anrufen kann ich den Typen nicht, denn ich bin ja fast taub. Hmmm, was mach ich denn nun?

Da haben wir es doch! Now everything has been well arranged. The Red Cross Jet will fly out tomorrow morning(4;30 GMT) to London (UK) so contact the diplomat that is handling the consignment,As soon you contact him tell him the below massage and then write back to me. I got your contact from the Red Cross camp in Al Basrah, Iraq. I want you to pick up my consignment that came from Iraq that was registered under your care by the command of Capt. Jackson Hensel to deliver to me. I will be coming tomorrow to pick up my consignment. I will abide by all necessary regulations that will speed up my receiving of my consignment as fast as possible. Below is the contact details of the diplomat,please contact him as soon as possible and and he will tell you how to meet him tomorrow in London to deliver the consignment to you I have paid all the airport duty charges Involve from Iraq to London and there is no way i can pay the London cargo duty charges from here in Iraq. The diplomat that is staying with me here told me that you have to pay about 5600 dollars equivalent in pounds for the clearance of the cargo in London and for the diplomat to help you deliver it in Germany Do not forget to keep this deal as a top secret for the security of our money . The contacts of the diplomat are as follows. Contact him as soon as you get my mail. Name: Dr Jerrold David Reid E-Mail: [email protected] Tel: +447536912287 Regards Capt Jackson Hensel Vor morgen früh melde ich mich nicht, wir haben Schneechaos in Deutschland. Mehr Ideen von Euch, mir gehen sie langsam aus und mir mangelt es an der nötigen Zeit... Vielleicht hat ja jemand von Euch Lust als meine Sekretärin Frl Paxi Undfixi einzusteigen..